SOULLESS: A Review

This may be the most entertaining book of 2009.

Poor Alexia Tarabotti. Living in Victorian London as a spinster is not the most enjoyable of lives. However, Alexia has the extra burden of not having a soul - which has the power to neutralize supernatural powers. She is also half-Italian (another burden) and has just murdered a vampire with her parasol in the library during a party, breaking almost every rule in polite society. When the officials arrive to investigate the murder, the head officer is none other than Lord Maccon - loud, messy, gorgeous and werewolf - who is nursing a secret hankering for Miss Tarabotti.

That's Chapter One. Where do you go from there? Into the realm of hysterical hijinks, drawing room dilemmas and passionate kisses, all served with the very best of tea. SOULLESS asks a very simple question: Can a soulless spinster find love with an Alpha werewolf in Victorian London?

SOULLESS is a delicate literary lampoon, seamlessly merging the darkness of Bram Stoker with the sensibility of Jane Austen set in Charles Dickens' London. Gail Carriger pulls it off with aplomb. The heroine has much in common with Austen's Elizabeth Bennett - witty, forthright and headstrong - but also has the additional talent of being lethal with a parasol. The writing style is very much Austenish, with its formality and cleverness, which induces not merely giggles and snickers but out right guffaws.

Here is a typical paragraph:

Professor Lyall was reminded of his Alpha's origins. He might be a relatively old werewolf, but he had spent much of that time in a barely enlightened backwater city in the Scottish Highlands. All the London ton acknowledged Scotland as a barbaric place. The packs there cared very little for the social niceties of daytime folk. Highland werewolves had a reputation of doing atrocious and highly unwarranted things, like wearing smoking jackets to the dinner table. Lyall shivered at the delicious horror of the very idea.

Sweet, and sublime. Unfortunately, SOULLESS will be invariably compared to the recent Jane Austen "rewrites," Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, but this is much better. In addition to her Austen sensibilities, Carriger also has a bit of Terry Pratchett, P. G. Wodehouse and Douglas Adams in her psyche. SOULLESS contains a complete re-imagining of vampire and werewolf lore, an accurate portrayal of Victorian society, a screwball comedy and a splash of steampunk tossed in for entertainment.

As part one of The Parasol Protectorate, this paves the way for 2010 CHANGELESS, which we are already awaiting with breathlessness. Time for some tea. Bravo, Ms. Carriger.

BIBLIO SAYS: Outstanding! Read it immediately!

COMPANION READ: Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

THE STRAIN: A Review

So far, this is the most entertaining book of 2009.
A Boeing 777 arrives at JFK and is on its way across the tarmac, when it suddenly stops dead. All window shades are pulled down. All lights are out. All communication channels have gone quiet. Crews on the ground are lost for answers, but an alert goes out to the CDC. Dr. Eph Goodweather, head of their Canary project, a rapid-response team that investigates biological threats, gets the call and boards the plane. What he finds makes his blood run cold. Everyone is dead, and as the hours pass the bodies do not decompose. What's more, the autopsies reveal that their blood has been completed transformed ... to white. What's more, four of the corpses on the plane revive and are taken to the hospital where ...

No, I can't tell you. That is part of the delicious horror that awaits you. Meanwhile, the non-decomposing autopsied bodies disappear from the city morgue and end up wandering the streets of New York, naked, with toe tags dangling.

In a pawnshop in Spanish Harlem, a former professor and survivor of the Holocaust named Abraham Setrakian knows what is happening. He's seen it before. And he knows the time has finally come, a war is brewing . . . and knows that his collection of antique esoteric weapons will come in handy, if he can convince someone - anyone! - the truth about what is happening. The most esoteric item in Abraham's collection is the human heart the old man has kept in a jar since the 1960s. And it's still beating.

Across town, Vasiliy Fet, a tough New York City pest control expert, is puzzled by the millions of rats that are fleeing Manhattan. Fet knows rats flee their domain only when the habitat is taken over by another, more vicious vermin. So he descends into underworld of the New York subway system where a bewildering horror awaits.

So begins a battle of mammoth proportions as the vampiric virus that has infected New York begins to spill out into the streets. Eph, who is joined by Setrakian, Fet and a motley crew of fighters, must now find a way to stop the contagion and save his city--a city that includes his wife and son--before it is too late.
This is part one of a trilogy, volumes two and three are being published in 2010 and 2011. It is an heady mixture of part I Am Legend, part Salem's Lot, part Outbreak, part Blade. The authors are an odd team. Academy Award winning director Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Mimic, Blade II and Hellboy) and award winning mystery novelist, Chuck Hogan have written a medical/sci-fi/ horror thriller of epic proportions.

Fast-paced, filled with quirky characters, and moments of sublime horror, this is a must read! Folks, we are talking about an instant classic.

BIBLIO SAYS: Highly recommended!!
Companion Read: I Am Legend by Richard Matheson.

BEST and WORST NOVELS: 2009

TEN BEST NOVELS OF 2009

Unlike many other lists (like The New York Times and other snobbish, elite publications), the books listed here are actually enjoyable. I have listed them in alphabetical order.

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DEVIL'S GARDEN by Ace Atkins
Wow, what a book. The 1921 rape/manslaughter trial of silent film star Roscoe Fatty Arbuckle provides the gritty backdrop for this outstanding crime novel. A wild party thrown by Arbuckle at San Francisco's posh St. Francis Hotel results in tragedy after an actress, Virginia Rappe, is mysteriously injured and later dies. The future creator of Sam Spade, Dashiell Hammett, then a Pinkerton operative living in San Francisco is assigned to help the defense on the Arbuckle case. Outstanding historical crime fiction.



FOOL by Christopher Moore
Think Shakespeare as taken apart by the Marx Brothers with a bit of porn thrown in for good measure. Hilarious!








GROUND ZERO by F. Paul WilsonRead the review. Wilson is one of the best writers working today. If you're not reading the "Repairman Jack" series, any description of this book would be a lost cause. This is THE most exciting and groundbreaking thriller series currently being published.






JAILBAIT ZOMBIE by Mario Acevedo
*Full Disclosure: Author Acevedo is a friend of theBibliofile.* This time around, vampire PI, Felix Gomez takes on a coven of zombies in Colorado. More sex, violence and frivolity as only Acevedo can do.







THE LAST CHILD by John Hart
This is an excellent and very brooding story of obsession. After a year Johnny Merrimon is still obsessed with the disappearance of his twin sister, Alyssa. His mother is obsessed with the abandonment of her husband (Johnny's father) due to stress of the disappearance; police detective Clyde Hunt is obsessed with his failure to solve the crime and has become obsessed with Johnny's mother. Dark, brooding and entertaining.




ONE SECOND AFTER by William Fortschen
Read the review. One of the scariest books you will ever read.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!






THE STRAIN by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuch Hogan
Possibly the best book of 2009. An instant classic! A vampiric virus takes over Manhattan within a week. One month later, America will be completely infected. Two months - the entire world. Mammoth horror novel (this is part one) about the battle to contain the outbreak and deal with the growing horror. Read the review.





SOULLESS by Gail Carriger, Book 1 in "The Parasol Protectorate"Probably the most entertaining book of 2009. Read the review. Jane Austen channeled through Bram Stoker, Charles Dickens and Miss Manners. The heroine, Alexia Tarabotti and Austen's Elizabeth Bennett would be kindred spirits, except that Alexia has no soul and is able to disable vampires and werewolves with a touch of her hand and a thrust of her parasol. Let's hope when Hollywood makes this into a movie, it doesn't screw up this delightful story. Bravo, Ms. Carriger
Trust me, read this book.


THE WOMEN OF NELL GWYNNE'S by Kage Baker
Another great steampunk novella, set in 1844 London, this time written by an old pro. This story follows the exploits of the harlots of the exclusive establishment known as Nell Gwynne's, where they gather intelligence for the shadowy Gentlemen's Speculative Society. A great look at the Victorian era which is neatly spiced up with futuristic technology such as mechanical eye implants - an intriguing, bawdy and funny confection.




UNDER THE DOME by Stephen King
Read the review. This is a great book for 990 pages - too bad the ending is sooooo flat. Remember how pissed you were when you got to the end of It? Same here.

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WORST NOVELS OF 2009

To make this list the book either had to be either major disappointment or just truly bad. This list could be soo much long, but we chose the honor the creme de la shit.

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SOUTH OF BROAD by Pat Conroy

MAJOR disappointment.
Read the review.
The worse book this year, next year AND last year.






THE LOST SYMBOL by Dan Brown

DISAPPOINTMENT, but not surprising.
Read the review. B-O-R-I-N-G.

RETURN TO SULLIVAN'S ISLAND by Dorthea Benton Frank

BAD, BAD, BAD.

Read the review. So awful ... it's painful to think about it.





THE SCARPETTA FACTOR by Patricia Cornwell

DISAPPOINTMENT, but not surprising. This used to be such a great series. Then Cornwell tried to get literary by writing several books in present tense, and getting bogged down in long, detailed side trips with characters and drama that turn out to be irrelevant and unnecessary. This book is no different: Agee, his hearing problems, Berger and her romance woes with Lucy, the ridiculous voodoo/poo-poo bomb, Hap and his necrophilia, the missing Blackberry. RIDICULOUS!

ALEX CROSS' TRIAL
I, ALEX CROSS
8TH CONFESSION
MAX
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE
SWIMSUIT
WATCH THE SKIES
WITCH AND WIZARD all by James Patterson (with multiple co-authors)
James Patterson is to writing what Jennifer Lopez is to acting. It's a no brainer that every Patterson book is awful. Any writer who says, "I just want to be the thrillingest thriller writer in the world," does not deserve to be read.

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Have a great 2010. Looking forward to several new books this year like:

A DARK MATTER by Peter Straub
CHANGELESS by Gail Carriger
JACK: SECRET CIRCLES by F. Paul Wilson
FATAL ERROR: F. Paul Wilson
HIDDEN EMPIRE by Orson Scott Card
THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON by Sarah Addison Allen

Happy Reading.