Sunday, December 20, 2009

SOULLESS: A Review


This may be the most entertaining book of 2009.

Poor Alexia Tarabotti. Living in Victorian London as a spinster is not the most enjoyable of lives. However, Alexia has the extra burden of not having a soul - which has the power to neutralize supernatural powers. She is also half-Italian (another burden) and has just murdered a vampire with her parasol in the library during a party, breaking almost every rule in polite society. When the officials arrive to investigate the murder, the head officer is none other than Lord Maccon - loud, messy, gorgeous and werewolf - who is nursing a secret hankering for Miss Tarabotti.

That's Chapter One. Where do you go from there? Into the realm of hysterical hijinks, drawing room dilemmas and passionate kisses, all served with the very best of tea. SOULLESS asks a very simple question: Can a soulless spinster find love with an Alpha werewolf in Victorian London?

SOULLESS is a delicate literary lampoon, seamlessly merging the darkness of Bram Stoker with the sensibility of Jane Austen set in Charles Dickens' London. Gail Carriger pulls it off with aplomb. The heroine has much in common with Austen's Elizabeth Bennett - witty, forthright and headstrong - but also has the additional talent of being lethal with a parasol. The writing style is very much Austenish, with its formality and cleverness, which induces not merely giggles and snickers but out right guffaws.

Here is a typical paragraph:

Professor Lyall was reminded of his Alpha's origins. He might be a relatively old werewolf, but he had spent much of that time in a barely enlightened backwater city in the Scottish Highlands. All the London ton acknowledged Scotland as a barbaric place. The packs there cared very little for the social niceties of daytime folk. Highland werewolves had a reputation of doing atrocious and highly unwarranted things, like wearing smoking jackets to the dinner table. Lyall shivered at the delicious horror of the very idea.

Sweet, and sublime. Unfortunately, SOULLESS will be invariably compared to the recent Jane Austen "rewrites," Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters, but this is much better. In addition to her Austen sensibilities, Carriger also has a bit of Terry Pratchett, P. G. Wodehouse and Douglas Adams in her psyche. SOULLESS contains a complete re-imagining of vampire and werewolf lore, an accurate portrayal of Victorian society, a screwball comedy and a splash of steampunk tossed in for entertainment.

As part one of The Parasol Protectorate, this paves the way for 2010 CHANGELESS, which we are already awaiting with breathlessness. Time for some tea. Bravo, Ms. Carriger.

BIBLIO SAYS: Outstanding! Read it immediately!

COMPANION READ: Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

THE STRAIN: A Review



So far, this is the most entertaining book of 2009.
A Boeing 777 arrives at JFK and is on its way across the tarmac, when it suddenly stops dead. All window shades are pulled down. All lights are out. All communication channels have gone quiet. Crews on the ground are lost for answers, but an alert goes out to the CDC. Dr. Eph Goodweather, head of their Canary project, a rapid-response team that investigates biological threats, gets the call and boards the plane. What he finds makes his blood run cold. Everyone is dead, and as the hours pass the bodies do not decompose. What's more, the autopsies reveal that their blood has been completed transformed ... to white. What's more, four of the corpses on the plane revive and are taken to the hospital where ...

No, I can't tell you. That is part of the delicious horror that awaits you. Meanwhile, the non-decomposing autopsied bodies disappear from the city morgue and end up wandering the streets of New York, naked, with toe tags dangling.

In a pawnshop in Spanish Harlem, a former professor and survivor of the Holocaust named Abraham Setrakian knows what is happening. He's seen it before. And he knows the time has finally come, a war is brewing . . . and knows that his collection of antique esoteric weapons will come in handy, if he can convince someone - anyone! - the truth about what is happening. The most esoteric item in Abraham's collection is the human heart the old man has kept in a jar since the 1960s. And it's still beating.

Across town, Vasiliy Fet, a tough New York City pest control expert, is puzzled by the millions of rats that are fleeing Manhattan. Fet knows rats flee their domain only when the habitat is taken over by another, more vicious vermin. So he descends into underworld of the New York subway system where a bewildering horror awaits.

So begins a battle of mammoth proportions as the vampiric virus that has infected New York begins to spill out into the streets. Eph, who is joined by Setrakian, Fet and a motley crew of fighters, must now find a way to stop the contagion and save his city--a city that includes his wife and son--before it is too late.
This is part one of a trilogy, volumes two and three are being published in 2010 and 2011. It is an heady mixture of part I Am Legend, part Salem's Lot, part Outbreak, part Blade. The authors are an odd team. Academy Award winning director Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Mimic, Blade II and Hellboy) and award winning mystery novelist, Chuck Hogan have written a medical/sci-fi/ horror thriller of epic proportions.

Fast-paced, filled with quirky characters, and moments of sublime horror, this is a must read! Folks, we are talking about an instant classic.

BIBLIO SAYS: Highly recommended!!
Companion Read: I Am Legend by Richard Matheson.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

BEST and WORST NOVELS: 2009


TEN BEST NOVELS OF 2009
Unlike many other lists (like The New York Times and other snobbish, elite publications), the books listed here are actually enjoyable. I have listed them in alphabetical order.
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DEVIL'S GARDEN by Ace Atkins
Wow, what a book. The 1921 rape/manslaughter trial of silent film star Roscoe Fatty Arbuckle provides the gritty backdrop for this outstanding crime novel. A wild party thrown by Arbuckle at San Francisco's posh St. Francis Hotel results in tragedy after an actress, Virginia Rappe, is mysteriously injured and later dies. The future creator of Sam Spade, Dashiell Hammett, then a Pinkerton operative living in San Francisco is assigned to help the defense on the Arbuckle case. Outstanding historical crime fiction.



FOOL
by Christopher Moore
Think Shakespeare as taken apart by the Marx Brothers with a bit of porn thrown in for good measure. Hilarious!








GROUND ZERO by F. Paul WilsonRead the review. Wilson is one of the best writers working today. If you're not reading the "Repairman Jack" series, any description of this book would be a lost cause. This is THE most exciting and groundbreaking thriller series currently being published.






JAILBAIT ZOMBIE by Mario Acevedo
*Full Disclosure: Author Acevedo is a friend of theBibliofile.* This time around, vampire PI, Felix Gomez takes on a coven of zombies in Colorado. More sex, violence and frivolity as only Acevedo can do.








THE LAS
T CHILD by John Hart
This is an excellent and very brooding story of obsession. After a year Johnny Merrimon is still obsessed with the disappearance of his twin sister, Alyssa. His mother is obsessed with the abandonment of her husband (Johnny's father) due to stress of the disappearance; police detective Clyde Hunt is obsessed with his failure to solve the crime and has become obsessed with Johnny's mother. Dark, brooding and entertaining.




ONE SECOND AFTER by William Fortschen
Read the review. One of the scariest books you will ever read.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!







THE STRAIN by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuch Hogan

Possibly the best book of 2009. An instant classic! A vampiric virus takes over Manhattan within a week. One month later, America will be completely infected. Two months - the entire world. Mammoth horror novel (this is part one) about the battle to contain the outbreak and deal with the growing horror. Read the review.





SOULLESS by Gail Carriger, Book 1 in "The Parasol Protectorate"Probably the most entertaining book of 2009. Read the review. Jane Austen channeled through Bram Stoker, Charles Dickens and Miss Manners. The heroine, Alexia Tarabotti and Austen's Elizabeth Bennett would be kindred spirits, except that Alexia has no soul and is able to disable vampires and werewolves with a touch of her hand and a thrust of her parasol. Let's hope when Hollywood makes this into a movie, it doesn't screw up this delightful story. Bravo, Ms. Carriger
Trust me, read this book.



THE WOMEN OF NELL GWYNNE'S by Kage Baker
Another great steampunk novella, set in 1844 London, this time written by an old pro. This story follows the exploits of the harlots of the exclusive establishment known as Nell Gwynne's, where they gather intelligence for the shadowy Gentlemen's Speculative Society. A great look at the Victorian era which is neatly spiced up with futuristic technology such as mechanical eye implants - an intriguing, bawdy and funny confection.




UNDER THE DOME by Stephen King
Read the review. This is a great book for 990 pages - too bad the ending is sooooo flat. Remember how pissed you were when you got to the end of It? Same here.







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WORST NOVELS OF 2009

To make this list the book either had to be either major disappointment or just truly bad. This list could be soo much long, but we chose the honor the creme de la shit.
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SOUTH OF BROAD by Pat Conroy

MAJOR disappointment.
Read the review.
The worse book this year, next year AND last year.






THE LOST SYMBOL by Dan Brown

DISAPPOINTMENT, but not surprising.
Read the review. B-O-R-I-N-G.






RETURN TO SULLIVAN'S ISLAND by Dorthea Benton Frank

BAD, BAD, BAD.

Read the review.
So awful ... it's painful to think about it.





THE SCARPETTA FACTOR by Patricia Cornwell


DISAPPOINTMENT, but not surprising. This used to be such a great series. Then Cornwell tried to get literary by writing several books in present tense, and getting bogged down in long, detailed side trips with characters and drama that turn out to be irrelevant and unnecessary. This book is no different: Agee, his hearing problems, Berger and her romance woes with Lucy, the ridiculous voodoo/poo-poo bomb, Hap and his necrophilia, the missing Blackberry. RIDICULOUS!

ALEX CROSS' TRIAL

I, ALEX CROSS
8TH CONFESSION

MAX

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE

SWIMSUIT

WATCH THE SKIES

WITCH AND WIZARD all by James Patterson (with multiple co-authors)

James Patterson is to writing what Jennifer Lopez is to acting. It's a no brainer that every Patterson book is awful. Any writer who says, "I just want to be the thrillingest thriller writer in the world," does not deserve to be read.

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Have a great 2010. Looking forward to several new books this year like:

A DARK MATTER by Peter Straub
CHANGELESS by Gail Carriger
JACK: SECRET CIRCLES by F. Paul Wilson
FATAL ERROR: F. Paul Wilson
HIDDEN EMPIRE by Orson Scott Card
THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON by Sarah Addison Allen


Happy Reading.

Monday, November 30, 2009

RETURN TO SULLIVAN'S ISLAND: A Review

Frank's first novel, Sullivan's Island, was a best-seller. It was the story of a successful middle-ag
ed woman, Susan Hamilton Hayes, who discovers her husband is having an affair. So she returns home to her family's beach cottage in the Charleston low country to rebuild her life with her moody teenage daughter, Beth. She is mothered back to emotional health by the black family cook who has all the wise knowledge of the world that Susan doesn't.

The next novel was called Plantation. A middle-aged woman named Caroline Wimbley Levine returns to her family's home at Tall Pines Plantation on Edisto Island in the low country after her mother's death and reflects on her life.

Next up was:
  • Isle of Palms. Anna Lutz Abbot returns home to the Isle of Palms (in the Charleston low country) to rebuilt her life.
  • Shem Creek. Linda Breland, single mother, returns home to Shem Creek (in the Charleston low country) to run a restaurant and re-build her life.
  • Pawley's Island. Abigail Thurmond spends most of her days playing golf and gossiping with her best friend, the portly, lovably aristocratic Huey Valentine. But when her life is disrupted she re-builds her life in the Charleston low country.
  • Full of Grace: The Russos (from New Jersey) retire to the South Carolina low country island Hilton Head and commence to disrupt the quiet island life.
  • Land of Mango Sunsets. Miriam Elizabeth Swanson's husband leaves her for a younger woman and she flees Manhattan to ... (GUESS WHERE?) Charleston and the low country to heal her soul.
  • Bulls Island. Betts McGee fled Charleston for Manhattan before her marriage to J.D. Now, years later, Betts is a successful middle-aged real estate developer who returns to Charleston to help develop a former wild life refuge ... and guess who her business partner is?
And now, inexplicably, Frank's new novel is titled Return To Sullivan's Island, even though there are at least a dozen more South Carolina sea islands to write about. This time around, Beth Hayes, daughter of Susan Hamilton Hayes, heroine of Sullivan's Island, returns home to house sit while Mom travels to Paris for a year. The story (and the entire book) is quite ridiculous and bad. Every character is shallow and boring. The prose and dialogue makes Nicholas Spark seem like John Irving. But, of course, if you've read any of the previous Frank novels ... you're not surprised.

My suggestion of titles for Frank's next books:

  • Plantation, Too
  • Isle of Palms: Turtle Terror
  • Swinging in Pawley's Island
  • Grace: Full of Shit
  • Land of Mango Sunrises
  • Bull Island Rumble
And then she could move to other islands along the South Carolina coast: Edisto Island; Wadlamaw Island; St. Helena's Island; James Island; Johns Island; Seabrook Island; Kiawah Island.

BIBLIO SAYS: Stay far, far away.

A SUMMER AFFAIR: A Review


How bad is this novel? Let me count the ways.

1. Main character is named Claire Danner Crispin. She lives in Nantucket. The perfect woman: she has a successful and devoted husband, four children and she is an artist. (She is a glass blower with a piece displayed in the Whitney Museum.) BUT, she has stopped her art work because she has no free time dealing with the children, even though she has an au pair (not a nanny!). Claire is also tightly wound and guilty about everything in her life.
2. Husband (who used to be perfect) now likes to watch TV and drink beer.
3. Claire's former boyfriend is one of the world's biggest rock stars.
4. Claire is appointed to be in charge of a fundraiser (they want her former boyfriend to play a benefit) and she gets the hots for her co-chairman.
5. They have an affair and Claire's life goes into meltdown over the guilt.

Trust me, the book is even worse than the description sounds. It is filled with shallow and pretentious people who think they are down-to-earth. Claire has guilt-breakdowns over every little detail in her life. She is so unlikeable that any man who would want to have an sexual relationship with her is not a man I'd like to know.

BIBLIO SAYS: Avoid, or you'll feel as guilty as Claire, and just as screwed.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

FOREVER AMBER: A Review



Forever Amber
, which sold 3 million copies during the first year of its publication (1944), and went on to become a bestseller in 16 countries. Kathleen Winsor's story of an English adventuress who becomes one of the mistresses of Charles II was banned in Boston as "obscene and offensive." The Massachusetts attorney general listed 70 references to sexual intercourse, 39 illegitimate pregnancies, seven abortions, 10 descriptions of women undressing in front of men, and 49 "miscellaneous objectionable passages."

Amber St. Clair is the illegitimate child of unmarried aristocrats, born during the English Civil Wars of 1640-50. Raised in the English countryside she manages to sleeps her way to London, where she is abandoned by her lover, Lord Bruce Carlton - pregnant and alone at age sixteen. She then sleeps with several men who pay for her favors, marries a cad who steals her money and ends up in prison. She sleeps with a charming rogue to get herself out of prison, becomes a thief, then an actress, a mistress of Charles II and then marries a rich elderly man. Upon his death, she is left a wealthy woman. At this point we are not even at the halfway point of the book.

Forever Amber has obvious plot similarities to Gone with the Wind - a civil war, a dashing privateer /blockade runner, a determined heroine named for a color, the contrast between a corrupt society and its slaves and servants.

Reading it today ... your reaction is mainly ... *yawn*. First of all, Amber is nothing more than a selfish, self-centered shallow social climber who beds, weds and beds man-after-man to obtain her goal of wealth. For the one man she does love, Lord Carlton (privateer), Amber freely two-times her husband in order to have a brief sexual affair with her come-and-go lover.

And then we get to the section of the novel that most people think as the redeeming section of the novel: the plague that sweeps across England. When Lord Carlton is infected, Amber heroically throws caution to the wind (gone with the wind?) to care for him, and ignored her own safety. When he survives, he decides that although he loves Amber, Carlton could not lower himself to marry her; he leaves to establish a tobacco plantation in Virginia.

Most people see Amber's heroic efforts during the plague (and later the Great Fire of 1666) to be her character's redemption. I beg to differ. Since Lord Carlton ultimately abandons her (again) I think it is merely just desserts for her past behavior. Unlike her more famous counterpart (Scarlett O'Hara) whose behavior, while self-centered, is more broadly a way to protect her family after disaster and an attempt to regain what has been lost. Amber is a nothing more than an opportunistic whore. The reader never once cares if she is successful. In fact, this reader kept hoping that more misery would heaped upon the unlikable Amber.

However, the book is well-written, and the sections that deal with the plague and Great Fire are justly famous for their harrowing and accurate historical description, but by the time you get to those sections (past page 500) it is too little too late.

BIBLIO SAYS: Avoid like the plague. :-)

Companion Read: Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.
Restoration by Rose Tremain

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

BEST BOOKS WRITTEN BY LEFT-HANDERS

THE ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN by Mark Twain
An all-time classic. Funny, sad and perceptive. Huck is the 19th century Holden Caulfield. The people that wish to ban this book due to the use of the word "nigger" are people that should never have any modicum of power over anyone.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND by Lewis Carroll
What a long strange trip it's been.

AND LADIES OF THE CLUB by Helen Hoover Santmeyer
It took author Santmeyer 50 years to compete this massive novel (1400 pages!). It follows the lives of several women in Wayesboro, Ohio post-Civil War who begin a study club. Published in 1982 by the Ohio State Press ALOTC only sold a few hundred copies during the first two years. Then, a filmmaker begin to inquire about purchasing the rights to make a mini-series and the book began to get publicity and in 1984, it was chosen to be a main selection for the Book-of-the-Month Club and became the best-selling novel that year. Santmeyer by that time was living in a nursing home.

FAIRY TALES by Hans Christian Andersen
Includes: The Emperor's New Clothes; The Little Match Girl, The Little Mermaid; The Princess and the Pea; The Red Shoes; The Snow Queen; Thumbelina; The Ugly Duckling.

THE FRIENDLY PERSUASION by Jessamyn West
A great novel about pacifist Quakers in southern Indiana during the American Civil War. Made into the classic Hollywood movie starring Gary Cooper and Dorothy McGuire.

GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
The ground-breaking semi-autobiographical novel by Baldwin that examines racism and the effect of the Christian church on American blacks.

THE GUNS OF THE SOUTH by Harry Turtledove
Robert E. Lee is offered the chance to purchase AK-47s after the battle of Gettysburg. A fun alternate history novel.

THE HITCH-HIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY by Douglas Adams
No explanation necessary. If you've read, you know. If you haven't read, shame on you.

THE INVISIBLE MAN by H. G. Wells
ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU by H.G. Wells
Two all-time classics by Mr. Wells.

THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE by Richard Condon
One of the most paranoid and disturbing novels ever written. If you only know this story from the most recent Hollywood movie version starring Denzel Washington, then you have no idea how great this story is. If you insist on watching it as a movie, then the 1962 version starring Frank Sinatra, Janet Leight and Angela Lansbury is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. You will never look at Angela Lansbury the same ever again.

THE OPTIMIST'S DAUGHTER by Eudora Welty
The 1972 Pulitzer Prize winner.

PRIZZI'S HONOR by Richard Condon
Another twisted dark comic novel by Condon about a mob hit man and hit woman who fall in love and then are hired to kill each other. It's kinda like The Godfather meets The Munsters.

TALES OF THE SOUTH PACIFIC by James Michener
A book of Pulitzer Prize winning short stories that became the basis of the classic Broadway show South Pacific.
THE TIME MACHINE by H.G. Wells
Another Wells classic.

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS by Lewis Carroll
Another strange trip with Mr. Carroll.

THE TRIAL by Franz Kafka
One of the most frustrating and disturbing books ever.

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS by H.G. Wells
No explanation necessary.

RHETT BUTLER'S PEOPLE: A Review


At first glance, this book sounded like it may have potential. Certainly, it would have to better than the first approved sequel of Gone With The Wind, Alexandra Ripley's abomination Scarlett. Hell, every James Patterson book is better than Scarlett. Good news: Rhett Butler's People is better than MOST James Patterson books. But that is not a high standard to reach.

The first chapters are confusing, to say the least. Author McCaig employs an annoying technique of putting characters together and then not clearly letting the reader know which character is speaking. The conversation in the carriage as Rhett is heading for duel (can you have a more cliqued opening for a Southern novel?) is bewildering because you cannot figure who is saying what.

And for a novel that is written by a man about a supposed REAL man, the prose is overwrought, dainty and laughable. "The frosty Milkyway stretched across the heavens to the horizon where it drowned in the ruddy penumbra of guns." WHAT?

But gradually, the real awful nature of this book comes clear: McCaig has decided that it was his job to update Rhett's reputation for modern, politically correct sensibilities. There are two Rhetts in this story - Margaret Mitchell's Rhett, and the new, GQ Rhett that McCaig is trying to re-invent. It should have been titled Rhett Redeux. Who knew Rhett Butler was a 19th century animal activist, concerned about the mating habits of loggerhead turtles? Too bad this Rhett didn't have the chance to meet Charleston writer named Mary Alice Monroe who can't help inserting loggerhead turtles into her books. They would have conducted a torrid affair, sitting on the dark beach at night having orgasms while the turtles lumber in-and-out of the surf.

In an interview in the New York Times, McCaig admits that he had never read GWTW when he was approached to pen a "sequel." When he did finally read it, he pronounced everything but the Civil War bits as "Oh dear." What else do you need to know?

Stay away from this revisionist crap. Margaret Mitchell's estate is 0 for 2. Scarlett was long, boring and tedious; Rhett Butler's People is a poorly written fraud. The Margaret Mitchell estate should sue itself for this abomination.

BIBLIO SAYS: Stay away as much as possible.

Companion read: Gone With The Wind.

GARDEN OF SPELLS: A Review


Like many small towns, Bascom, North Carolina has its secrets it likes to keep. Local caterer Clair Waverly lives a quiet life tending her garden and making mouth-water, seemingly magical dishes from the herbs and fruits from her garden. Her food tends to have odd effects on people.

Clair wakes one morning to find her long lost sister Sydney on her doorstep - with her five-year-old daughter Bay! What Sydney had been doing, and where she had been for the past ten years is no one's business. The sisters had endured a rocky childhood with a difficult mother and the two girls had become estranged through the years. But family is family, and Clair takes in her sister and niece who quickly discover there is something unusual about Clair and her garden - it blooms and flourishes year round. The large ancient apple tree in the center of the garden has a way of manipulating events. When the tree wants attention, it throws apples, and tempts passers-by with its fruit - if it likes you. If the tree dislikes you ... then could get nasty.

Then there is cousin, Evanelle, who has a knack for giving odd gifts that eventually become quite appropriate. And the hunk next door, Tyler, has his eye on Clair, who has no interest in romance - but the apple tree has other ideas!

Garden of Spells is a delightful book of charm, romance, myth and magic. Filled with small moments of wonder, quirky characters and situations it is over much too soon.

BIBLIO SAYS: Highly recommended.

Monday, November 23, 2009

GREAT SCI-FI NOVELS

FOUNDATION by Issac Asimov
Like most kids in the 60s-70s, Asimov was my introduction to sci-fi with these books. A brilliant example of total world building traces a man's effort to save a crumbling empire by establishing a foundation to preserve the intellectual achievements of the empire.








DUNE by Frank Herbert
Come on, the first Dune book is a staggering piece of imagination, and a thrilling story. Ignore all movie versions, and if you want to read the endless Dune books that follow, go for it but be forewarned: each book in the series gets worse and worse and worse and ...








FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON by Daniel Keyes
Poignant story of a simple man with an IQ of 68. Charlie becomes the first human test case for an intelligence increasing surgery. As Charlie's IQ increases to 185 his life completely changes and he ultimately discovers, the surgery is not permanent ... he will revert to his former, simple self after reaching amazing heights of intellectual and emotional achievement. Powerful and sad.






HYPERION by Dan Simmons
A sci-fi Canterbury Tales. The story weaves the interlocking tales of a diverse group of travelers sent on a pilgrimage to the Time Tombs on Hyperion. The travelers have been sent by the Shrike Church and the Hegemony (the government of the human star systems) to make a request of the Shrike. As they progress in their journey, each of the pilgrims tells their tale. Simmons is a powerful writer.






THE MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS by Robert A. Heinlein
This is still one of my all-time favorite books, sci-fi or not. The moon has become a penal colony for criminal and political exiles from Earth. Problem is, anyone who stays longer than a few months undergoes "irreversible physiological changes and can never again live in comfort and health in a gravitational field six times greater than that to which their bodies have become adjusted. That leads to unrest and then ...






ENDER'S GAME by Orson Scott Card
One of the greatest books of the past 50 years. Years ago Earth barely survived the invasion of an alien race called The Buggers. Now, Earth is preparing to defend itself again for a second coming invasion by creating super genius children through a breeding program on Earth. The kids are sent to Battle School to prepare to defend their planet. Eight-year old Ender Wiggen becomes the focus of the Battle School administrators as their best hope as a supreme commander.

The genius of this novel is that it is told from the view point of an intellectually brilliant child, but a child nonetheless, so he is unaware of the machinations around him. Quite simply ... a must read.


DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP by Philip K. Dick
The most famous Dick novel is typical ... bleak, clever and just when you think you know what is happening, Dick proves you foolish.










TO SAY NOTHING OF THE DOG by Connie Willis
In 2057, Ned Henry, an Oxford expert in the 20th century, jumps back and forth from the 1940s to correct a loose screw in the works of the time continuum .... the madcap almost screwball intensity makes this a fun ride.









THE MOTE IN GOD'S EYE by Larry Nevin and Jerry Pournelle
Well-written hard science fiction about an alien race called The Moties. When I bought this paperback in 1978, I read it straight through until I was finished. Nevin is a brilliant hard science fiction writer, but b-o-r-i-n-g. Pournelle is a good scientist but a much better writer so they make a good team. Try reading a Larry Nevin book (Ringworld is a good test) and see how much more boring his solo books are.






TO YOUR SCATTERED BODIES GO by Philip Jose Farmer
Sir Richard Burton wakes after death to find himself in a strange world which is made up of a never-ending river. He discovers that the inhabitants of the Riverworld are from the history of Earth - from Neolithic Age to the 21st century. The search is on to find the end of the river and the powers behind the resurrections. His partner? Hermann Goring.






LORD VALENTINE'S CASTLE by Robert Silverberg
Okay, some of you will argue that this is more epic fantasy than science fiction, but I think it has enough hard sci-fi in its storyline to be bone fide. Set on an immense planet teeming with alien races and magical creatures, Valentine wakes one morning with no memory of who he is. He joins a troupe of traveling circus performers and gradually begins to realize he is the rightful ruler of the planet, except no one else believes him.






SPIN by Robert Charles Wilson
One night the stars go out. The book follows how that event affects the lives of three friends - coming-of-age tale, a love story, a literary triumph, and an ecological and apocalyptic warning.









BRING THE JUBILEE by Ward Moore
Written in 1953, one of the first (and the best) of the alternative history novels that ask: What if the South won the Civil War? Politically complex, astute and endlessly fascinating.









TIMESCAPE by Gregory Benford
It's 1998, and a physicist in Cambridge, England, attempts to send a message backward in time. Earth is falling apart, and a government faction supports the project in hopes of diverting or avoiding the environmental disasters beginning to tear at the edges of civilization. It's 1962, and a physicist in California struggles with his new life on the West Coast, office politics, and the irregularities of data that plague his experiments. Then he receives an unusual message ...





THE FOREVER WAR by Joe Haldeman
Mandella starts out as a foot soldier in man's thousand-year war against the Taurans and ends as a reluctant major. Spanning the stars at faster than light speeds, Mandella and his comrades age only months as the centuries zip by on an earth that becomes increasingly foreign. But few soldiers will return to the altered home planet; in battles fought with powered suits and other stranger weapons, the odds for survival approach zero. This is a splendid, thoughtful adventure.





LORD OF LIGHT by Roger Zelany
The science-fiction Siddhartha, with a twist. Earth is long since dead. On a colony planet, a band of men has gained control of technology, made themselves immortal, and now rules their world as the gods of the Hindu pantheon. Only one dares oppose them: he who was once Siddhartha and is now Mahasamatman. Binder of Demons. Lord of Light. Trickster. Very fun.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

TRY THESE FANTASY SERIES

Okay, so you've read Harry Potter. All well and good. It's time to move on to other things. You've read Lord of the Rings (the movies don't count). You've tried to read Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time but found yourself contemplating suicide. Never fear, here is a list of some good Fantasy Series.
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THE ADVERSARY CYCLE (6 books) & THE REPAIRMAN JACK SERIES (15+ books) by F. Paul Wilson ADVERSARY CYCLE: The Keep; The Tomb; The Touch; Reborn; Reprisal; Nightworld. REPAIRMAN JACK: The Tomb; Legacies; Conspiracies; All the Rage; Hosts; The Haunted Air; Gateways; Crisscross; Infernal; Harbingers; Bloodline; By The Sword; Ground Zero.
These two inter-connected series are usually classified as horror. Not matter, they represent a phenomenal accomplishment. The Keep is a traditional horror novel in which a group of Nazis solders in awaken an ancient evil in the mountains of Transylvania. The evil had been imprisoned by an immortal warrior who once again must try and defeat the Evil. The Tomb jumps forward to modern day New York and a lone, secretive vigilante named Repairman Jack is faced with an evil of supernatural origin which threatens his adopted family. The rest of the books in these series (which can all be read as stand alone novels) feature recurring characters and gradually pulls back layer-by-layer of an ancient other-worldly mystery. HIGH RECOMMENDED.



THE BOOK OF WORDS by J.V. Jones (3 books) The Baker's Boy; A Man Betrayed; Master and Fool.
Rebelling against her forced betrothal to the sinister Prince Kylock, young noblewoman Melliandra enlists the help of Jack, a kitchen apprentice, who is overwhelmed by his unexpected magical powers. Jones manages something that is rare in high fantasy - real humor. The series is delightful in the way that the story branches away and doubles back. The secondary characters are as well developed than the main three characters, in particular the two medieval guards Bodger and Grift, who may very well be the Laurel and Hardy of High Fantasy fiction.





THE CHRONICLES OF THOMAS COVENANT - THE UNBELIEVER by Stephen R. Donaldson (3 books) Lord Foul's Bane; The Illearth War; The Power That Preserves.
Thomas Covenant is a bitter and cynical writer afflicted with leprosy who is shunned and despised by society, but destined to become the heroic savior of an alternate world - or, perhaps, only of his own sanity. In the "other world" Covenant struggles against the evil Lord Foul, "The Despiser" who intends to break the physical universe to escape its bondage and wreak revenge upon his arch-enemy, "The Creator." Donaldson's works are infused with a profoundly serious psychological tone involving an unabashed exploration of dark and repugnant aspects of the protagonist Thomas Covenant without reducing him to a caricature or an antihero. Good, deep, serious stuff, and Donald writes with a realism not often found in fantasy literature.


THE FARSEER TRILOGY by Robin Hobbs (3 books) Assassin's Apprentice; Royal Assassin; Assassin's Quest.
The Farseer Trilogy follows the life of FitzChivalry Farseer (Fitz), a royal bastard and trained assassin, in a kingdom called The Six Duchies while his uncle, Prince Verity, attempts to wage war on the Red-Ship Raiders from The OutIslands who are attacking the shores of the kingdom by turning the populace (primarily the coastal people) into Forged ones; a form of zombification which makes them emotionless. Very exciting and face-paced, filled with magic, palace intrigue as young Fitz learns to become a master spy and assassin.


INCARNATIONS OF IMMORTALITY by Piers Anthony (8 books) On A Pale Horse; Bearing An Hourglass; With A Tangled Skein; Wielding a Red Sword; Being A Green Mother; For Love of Evil; ... And Eternity; Under A Velvet Cloak.The first seven books each focus on one of seven supernatural "offices" (Death, Time, Fate, War, Nature, Evil and Good) in a fictional reality and history parallel to ours, with the exception that society has advanced both magic and modern technology. The series covers the adventures and struggles of a group of humans, called "Incarnations" who hold these supernatural positions for a certain time.


MEMORY, SORROW AND THORN by Tad Williams (3 books) The Dragonbone Chair; Stone of Farewell; To Green Angel Tower.

This is an answer series to Lord of the Rings, and almost as good. The books are set on the continent of Osten Ard, whose inhabitants include Sithi (elf-like immortals), Qanuc (troll-like mountain-dwellers), and other races, as well as several distinct human nations. The youthful conquests of King John the Presbyter (also called Prester John) united most of the human world into a single realm, but by the beginning of the first book, the former conqueror is too old and feeble to stop his sons from quarrelling. As the conflict widens throughout their world and beyond, a young orphan struggles to understand enough of it to survive. Passionate and exciting, Williams is very entertaining.




MISTBORN by Brian Sanderson (3 books) The Final Empire; The Well of Ascension; The Hero of Ages.This could be the best fantasy series of the last 20 years. Sanderson has invented unique kind of magic that is ingenious and logical. Even though these are in the tradition of epic fantasy, there are no elves, no wizards, and NO BORING SECTIONS. These books read like a thriller, fast-paced with superb characters.







REDWALL by Brian Jacques (21 books) Redwall; Mossflower; Mattimeo; Mariel of Redwall; Salamandastrom; Martin the Warrior; The Bellmaker;' Outcast of Redwall; The Pearls of Lutra; Lord Brocktree; The Taggerung; Triss; Loamhedge; Rakkity Tam; High Rhulain; Eulaila!; Doomwyte; The Sable Quean.

This a delightful and richly diverse series of books about the mice who run Redwall Abbey. Despite the fact that this is a fantasy series, there is no magic, but lots of adventure and supernatural elements blend with religious themes. The books are simply written, face-paced and quite charming.



Friday, November 20, 2009

BOOKS TO AVOID (Even Under Penalty of Death)

NOTE: I did not list any James Patterson books since it should be obvious you need to avoid Patterson. If not, I order to stop reading the blog IMMEDIATELY.

AMERICAN PSYCHO by Brett Easton Ellis
Sick and badly written. A cruel and vicious book. Anyone who is in a relationship with Mr. Ellis needs to re-think their decision. There are not words strong enough to describe how bad this book is.

COLD MOUNTAIN by Charles Fraizer
Quite simply, one of the worst books of the past decade. It is a great example of the group think among today's university-driven literary community and publishing industry. The book is sophomoric in style, using purple phrases with awkward flourishes that most English 101 instructors give you a failing grade if you used them. It is also a great example of a major problem in today's publishing industry - an author has a wild success with a bad book, so he is given a huge amount of money to produce an even worse book. Thirteen Moons.

FINNEGAN'S WAKE by James Joyce.
It's a classic, right? Yes, classic shit. The last section of the novel consists of 24,212 words and two sentences. Yes, you read that correctly, two sentences and 24,000 words! Enough said.

GRAVITY'S RAINBOW by Thomas Pynchon

The 11 members of the Pulitzer Prize committee were on the right track when they described the book as "unreadable, turgid, overwritten and obscene." They were actually being nice.










THE MAGUS by John Fowles
Self-important and full of 1960ish mysticism and oblique literary games. AWFUL!

The great actor Peter Sellers was once asked, "If you had a chance to live your life over again, what would you do differently?" Sellers answered, " I would not read "The Magus."

Amen, Peter.  




SCARLETT: THE SEQUEL TO MARGARET MITCHELL'S GONE WITH THE WIND
by Alexandra Ripley
Granted, this was a no-win idea from the get-go. Hell, even the title is ridiculous. But the book turned out to be boring, boring, boring. And the other "approved" book, Rhett Butler's People fares no better.

STATE OF FEAR by Michael Crichton
First of all, forget all the political yammering around this novel, and it's claims for "scientific authenticity." IT'S BAD AND BORING! Crichton has never been on anyone's list of good writers; his prose is clumsy and his characterizations are TV depth (hence all the successful movies and TV shows made from his writings).

THE SHANNARA BOOKS (all of them!) by Terry Brooks
How awful, boring and BAD are these books? Pauly Shore bad. Michael Bolton awful. What is frightening is how many have been published. As of this moment there are fourteen Shannara novels. Mr. Brooks ... have mercy! Take a vacation!!!!







TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE by Norman Mailer
The result of a self-important (and often good) writer thinking that because he is an "important artist" he could write a better hard-boiled mystery than those two-bit hacks like Hammet, Chandler and MacDonald. Hey Norman, you lose ... by a long shot!

BEST CIVIL WAR NOVELS

THE AMALGAMATION POLKA by Steven Wright
The story concerns Liberty Fish, the son of two passionate abolitionists but whose grandparents were cruel slave-owners. The plot follows Liberty from his birth to young adulthood, his enlistment in the Union army, and his quest to find his grandparents whom he blames for the despair his mother feels. The tone has hints of dark humor, and at times can be heavily surreal.
The oddest book on this list.

ANDERSONVILLE by Mac Kinley Kantor
This may be the best and most realistic book about the War, and won the Pulitzer Prize. It is told from many points of view, including that of Henry Wirz, the camp commandant, who was later executed. It also features William Collins, a Union soldier and one of the leaders of the "Raiders". The "Raiders" are a gang of thugs, mainly bounty jumpers who steal from their fellow prisoners and lead comfortable lives while other prisoners die of starvation and disease. Other characters include numerous ordinary prisoners of war, the camp physician/doctor, a nearby plantation owner, guards and Confederate civilians in the area near the prison. While based on prisoner memoirs, most notably Andersonville: A Story of Rebel Military Prisons by John McElroy, the novel is less biased against the Confederates. Henry Wirz, who received an injury earlier in the war and never recovered properly, is portrayed not as an inhuman fiend but as a sick man struggling with a job beyond his capacities. A tragic illustration of the Peter Principle.

GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell
C'mon. You've got to list it. Granted, it's more romance than straight history, but it still casts a long shadow over that time period.

THE GUNS OF THE SOUTH by Harry Turtledove
It is March 1864, and the Confederacy is reeling after defeats at the battles of Gettysburg and Vicksburg. Andries Rhoodie, a man wearing mottled green clothing, speaking in a strange, guttural accent, and carrying a strange rifle, visits the headquarters of the Army of Northern Virginia and demands to demonstrate his rifle to Robert E. Lee. The rifle, to the Confederates' astonishment, can fire thirty rounds in only a few seconds, with considerable accuracy. Rhoodie and his comrades, who declare that they are members of an organization called "America Will Break" offer to supply the entire Confederate army with these rifles, which they refer to as AK-47s. Very fun.





THE KILLER ANGELS by Michael Shaara
THE Civil War novel according to most. Beginning with the famous section about Longstreet's spy Harrison gathering information about the movements and positions of the Federals, each day is told primarily from the perspectives of commanders of the two armies, including Robert E. Lee and James Longstreet for the Confederacy, and Joshuo Chamberlain and John Buford for the Union. Most chapters describe the emotion-laden decisions of these officers as they went into battle. Maps depicting the positioning of the troops as they went to battle, as they advanced, add to the sense of authenticity as decisions are made to advance and retreat with the armies. The author also uses the story of Gettysburg, one of the largest battles in the history of North America, to relate the causes of the War and the motivations that led old friends to face each other on the battlefield.

LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa May Alcott
Most people don't think of this as a Civil War novel, but the War does play an understated part in the story.

LINCOLN by Gore Vidal
The novel's emphasis is on the President's political and personal struggles, and not the battles of the Civil War. Though Lincoln is the focus, the book is never narrated from his point of view. However, one gets an insight into his presidency and gets to see just how his mind works. Through thick and thin, Lincoln proves how exceptional he really is and how his death impacted many.

LONG REMEMBER by Mac Kinley Kantor
Kantor (1904–77) spoke with Civil War veterans, and translated what they told him into this startling and convincing portrait of war. Originally published in 1934 Long Remember traces the experience of Daniel Bale, a young man who has refused to fight and struggles to cling to his pacifist principles as his hometown of Gettysburg becomes the center of an immense three-day battle between Union and Confederate forces.

NORTH AND SOUTH Trilogy by John Jakes
Say what you will about the soap opera of some of the plot, but this is historically well done, and told brilliantly. Jakes is a rare breed, a good historian who happens to be an excellent novelist.

ON SECRET SERVICE by John Jakes
This book explores from the shadowy sanctums of the world's first private detective agency, the Pinkertons, to the battlefields of Virginia and the private haunts of wartime Washington, where even the President's hand-picked men cannot stop a plot that may reach from Richmond to the highest offices of the Union government. Jakes is a master at blending his fictional characters in with historical figures like Lincoln, McClellan, Jefferson Davis, Allan Pinkerton and John Wilkes Boothe.

RAINTREE COUNTRY by Ross Lockridge, Jr.

The novel, set in fictional Raintree County, Indiana, is essentially in two parts; before the Civil War and after. It spans the 19th century history of the United States, from the pre-Civil War westward expansion, to the debate over slavery, to the Civil War, to the Industrial Revolution and the Labor Movement which followed. The book is often surreal, with dream sequences, flashbacks and departures from the linear narrative. It has been described as an effort to mythicalize the history of America, which to a great degree it succeeds in doing through the eyes and the commentary of John Shawnessy.




THE RED BADGE OF COURAGE by Stephen Crane
It is considered one of the most influential works in American literature. The novel, a depiction on the cruelty of war during an unnamed battle, features young recruit, Henry Fleming, who deserts his regiment, but returns to become a hero on the battlefield.


SHILOH by Shelby Foote
It employs the first-person perspectives of several protagonists, Union and Confederate, to give a moment-by-moment depiction of the battle.The story illustrates two of Foote's most strongly held convictions: that Nathan Bedford Forrest was the greatest combat commander in the War and that Confederate society held the seeds of its own doom. 








TRAVELER by Richard Adams
The second oddest book on this list. A view of the war as seen through the eyes of Robert E. Lee's beloved horse, Traveler. And before you dismiss that as a silly idea, remember that Adams is the author of Watership Down, a simple story about rabbits told from the rabbits' point of view which just happens to be one of the best books of the last 50 years. Traveler is equally masterful and powerful in its simplicity.