THE HISTORIAN: A Review

The Historian is billed as an epic work of historical fiction that sweeps across Europe during the four decades between 1930 and the mid 1970s. From all the hype this novel received upon publication, who would have imagined it was going to be so bad and boring. At least The DaVinci Code was exciting.

WARNING: Major plot points and story surprises follow. Trust me, read this review and skip the book.

Dracula (yes, him) has kidnapped an old professor, so a student of the prof sets off to search for the tomb in which Dracula was buried some 500 years ago. I guess it doesn't matter that the Count has been traveling freely across continents and oceans for centuries, the student is positive (AB-, ha ha) that's where he has to be.

So the boredom begins. We follow these bookworms from England to France to Turkey to Bulgaria to Romania to Hungary - city to city, castle to monastery, library to mosque - and nothing happens. Except a lot of coincidences. The woman in the library just happens to be as the professor's long-lost daughter. The Turkish fellow sitting down to dinner at the next table is a lifelong Dracula fanatic and amateur historian, who speaks perfect English because he is a professor of English Lit. How many coincidences can you have in one scene before you have as much credibility as Al Gore?

Six hundred pages later (yes, 600), we discover that Dracula's nefarious plot and kidnapping was to make the professor catalog his library. That's correct, read it again. Dracula wants his personal library cataloged. At this point, if you're not already catatonic, the Sears Roebuck catalog would be a breezy read.

BIBLIO SAYS: Stay away! In fact, if the ever see this book, DON'T LOOK AT IT!